Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
