I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize