porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
