Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
