If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
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