it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
