i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.