Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
