Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell

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(864): View more from South Carolina

she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY

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(509): View more from Washington

I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

(416): View more from Toronto

Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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(203): View more from Connecticut

well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave

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