im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize