I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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