Banned from zoo.
Again?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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