I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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