woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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