dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
