i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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