I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
