I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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