I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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