Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
