how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
