Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
