i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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