how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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