We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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