capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
