I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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