His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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