stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
