so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
