you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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