I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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