Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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