i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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