i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
