I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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