Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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