What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just want nice things and good sex
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
