Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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