seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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