At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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