Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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