just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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