Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
