your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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