TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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