I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
