This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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