omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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