I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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