he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
