Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
