Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
