he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
