We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
