What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
