U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
