They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You can't special order awesome
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
